I am curious how it turned out? I was very opposite to you, I was prude most of the time. I never identified with earthly genders or sexes, I desired being like angels, or primordial human even (male+female in one) Adam+Hava Kadmon.
Yet recently I got shamed and could never got over how I was created despise how much I put in the relationship, like 3 fucking years.
I wants to try doing every shit in life and then spend rest of my life in monastery atoning for it. Were you even warned against your life choices? I was once in a dream, never forgot it since.
Whatever I won't do, I'd never find love nor friends, no one I can entrust. Everytime someone declared its love to me and told me they found God due to me - My life utterly fucked up, I was forced to abandon all the contacts… Last it happened I was around 16~18, now I'll be turning 24.
I am trying to undo certain magical shit someone was brainwashed with, will probably go into deeper shit as people with magic probelms ALWAYS came to me asking for advise (I never tried anything like that being a skepticist by nature), only kept studying world religions and their mystical traditions. But if this will not be enough I'd simply have to visit some missionary monk exorcist, one once cleansed me.
Honestly I reccomend you to do the same, whatever denom you belongs to. Someone who got me into so much stuff and gave joys of life since my dropout, wants to have nothing to do with me anymore. I honestly needs to visit some holy person with seer powers, I mean you know those who take no sterling and co-operate with Churches? Just to learn what's going on.